White Noise - Distortion (re-write #4) Beat Sheet - Outline - Progress
Update 01/26/2025
This is an updated draft of my new re-write, which I hope
will land me on a completed novel this time.
See Darrell's
Writing Plan for 2025 ~ Darrell Wolfe, Storyteller for my current
writing plan and the background behind this new attempt.
Distortion (Outline Level Rough Draft)
A White Noise Story
Rewrite Notes
·
In the actual writing of
this after outlining, weave in spiritual things he sees, and make them
inconvenient for him.
·
At core, this is an
information plot, a romance plot, an adventure plot?
·
I think we can write Briar’s
arch, but at first we only see snippets of his arch via text messages he is
sending Thaddeaus. We don’t actually see his POV for a while until we’re fully
invested in Ash and Destiny. However, I want Briar to be every bit as real,
owning his own wants, as they are. We want to almost want him to get his goals,
or at least we can feel how he got where he is.
·
We seem to be settling on
Ash not wanting to seem crazy to others. Somehow when we write the scenes, we
need to paint both the chaos of his inner world and how little that actually escapes
into other’s view. But it does escape, and people do see something is odd about
him, and many give him space because of it, but also pity. They know he’s struggling
and many rumors have spread about the extent of it. They do see the cracks in
his sanity, but they do not see the whirlwind of chaos inside of him. They also
don’t know specifically that he is hallucinating. If he knew they knew that, he
would be mortified. But they know he sees things, or maybe remembers things?
They have suspicions about it. They assume it’s flash backs from the military,
or his mom’s death. Which he was present for before leaving for the military?
Maybe a car crash? Maybe a murder? Not sure.
Captain (retired) Theron "Ash" Ashland, USAF Spec Ops
Captain
Theron "Ash" Ashland, USAF Spec Ops. – I think I later
realized this would be Colonel or something? I’ll have to check my notes. I am
not sure it matters anymore.
Briar Texts as epigraphs before Ash’s POVs
01/18/2025
HOOK
Scene Hook/Grounded
Goal: I want to show Ash in his current state, hook
the reader, and give him a SMALL want, but one that also serves to flush out
his current state. -- Ash wants wants to get his coffee and make it to the
corner chair without having to interact too often or look like he’s as unstable
as he feels.
Beat 1 - No (Coffee/Chair/Avoid people) / And (Ned finds him)
Ash is in a small rural Idaho town, looking out the window,
hallucinating, suffering from PTSD.
His interactions with (and avoidance of) the townspeople,
who’ve known him since he was a boy except for the years he was away in the
military doing things he can’t talk about because they are classified, show a
man who’s loved by the people but also pitied. His life was sad in
heartbreaking ways, and nobody can do anything for him but to love him when
possible, and give him space as needed. It’s a good town full of good people,
but they believe in a lot of conspiracy theory nonsense, and they’re scared of anything
they don’t understand. This scene needs some kind of an arch or goal. The
opening hallucination is a great hook, but what does Ash want (small wants,
immediate wants) in this scene that can give it a start, middle, and end? He
wants to get his coffee and make it to the corner chair without having to
interact too often or look like he’s as unstable as he feels. Ooooo… that’s a
cool scene. Okay, so? What happens. Does he get his coffee?
No, but…
Scene opens: Ash is staring out the window, he sees shadows
move across the street and reaches for his gun, but there is no gun. There is
however a tape measure on his belt that is now in his hand. He rushes with embarrassment,
and looks around to see if anyone noticed. A few looks but the room isn’t
staring at him, so he is fine, everything is fine, “I’m not crazy”…
He practices his breathing techniques and embodiment
practices, he starts observing the last leaves of autumn fall from the trees,
one lands in a pumpkin and burns. As he watches the people passing by, does he
wonder anything about them? Does he try to remember what life was like before
he was in this condition?
A “Ned” like character sees him through the window and
starts waving and rushing over. Ash pretends not to see him, turns and asks if
his coffee is ready yet. The bariste chides him to wait his turn, but in a
friendly way. Ash picks something up off the rack to read the label just to
look distracted. The bell on the door rings and creaks as it opens. Ned makes a
beeline for Ash.
Ned: Ash.
*Ignored*
Ned: Ash.
*Ignored*
Ned: Hey buddy, (gently taps him on the shoulder).
Ash feels his back and neck tense, and a rush of prickles
through his skin. But he forces a smile and turns around, then pulls his ear
phones out, he always keeps them in, but usually nothing is playing, it simply
keeps the intrusive noises down. But it makes a great excuse to pretend you
didn’t hear someone.
Ash: (turning around and pulling one ear bud out), Hi Ned.
Didn’t see you there.
Ned: You are always in your head. So listen, (Ned rushes
before Ash can run away), we’re doing that fundraiser again and you haven’t
confirmed your table yet this year.
Ash: Is that coming up already?
Ned: The ten emails this week weren’t enough to remind you?
Ash: I don’t read emails. I only have that email address for
signing into my VA benefits portal.
Ned: You are an odd one. You’re coming right? I can put you
down for a table? It’s tomorrow, I must know. Please come, you’re a huge hit
every year.
Ash: (takes a deep breath and sighs into accepting his
membership in this town), “You have been a persistent one ever since you got
your first Boy Scout popcorn tin. Sure, I’ll be there.”
Ned: Great, thanks, everyone loves your stuff.
*Ash’s name is called by the Bariste*
Ash: Sure – I gotta go buddy. *points at the pick up
counter*
Ned: Awesome, See you then. *Ned rushes off to pester
another late responder across the café*
Beat 2 - Yes (Coffee) / But No (Chair) Interrupted on the way, and he looks
crazy or feels crazy
Ash grabs his coffee and starts walking to his corner, but as
a lady passes by holding a small yippy dog[DGW1] . The dog goes from happy and yippy to
aggressive as it passes Ash. It starts barking at Ash. Ash can see the demon
entity on the lady and another like it on the dog, and they both are staring at
him with hate in their eyes, and the dog is reacting to it. The lady is
oblivious, but simultaneously wary of Ash and embarrassed by her dogs behavior.
Just as the lady is finally moving on, the dog leaps out of her arms and starts
nipping at Ash’s pant leg. He shakes it off and grabs it by the scruff of the
neck and hands it to the lady without a word. She leaves to put the dog in a
time-out in her car. Ash begins to make a bee-line for the chair in the corner.
Beat 3 - Yes (Coffee, Chair) / But No (more peace more intrusions) A man
comes to sit and chat
(yes) Ash sits in the chair and breathes a sigh of relief.
He made it to his chair, passed the interruptions, and he has his coffee. Ash
surveys the rooms, showing that he is wary of any environment, keeping his back
to the corner, observing all points of entry, watching people’s reactions while
trying to look uninterested. After practicing his embodiment exercises and
putting aside a few observations of other spirit creatures in the room, he
picks up the paper or book to read.
(but) A man sits down in the chair next to Ash, with a small
coffee table in between for setting drinks. Ash notices from the corner of his
eye that the man is looking directly at him but pretends not to notice. But the
man’s stare never wavers or shifts, so Ash finally puts the book in his lap,
holding the place with his thumb (but also positioning the book in such a way
as to use it as a weapon), and matches the man’s stare eye to eye.
Neither speak for what seems like an eternity, and Ash
raises an eyebrow, finally closing the book fully, and gripping it tighter,
ready for a full fight. The man nods to Ash, but more to himself, and sits back
a little in his chair. Both men take a deep breath and relax a titch. The man
finally speaks.
Man: I wasn’t sure it was you, but it is you. Unbelievable.
Ash: Do we know each other? My memory isn’t what it used to
be, but I don’t believe we’ve met.
Some conversation ensues that makes it seem the man wanted
to tell Ash something, but not in this busy room… He will send an invitation
later. Or maybe he tells Ash where he is staying? The invitation should be vague,
easily mistakable for a sales conversation. Maybe ask Ash some questions that
sound salesy?
There is a commotion outside, and Ash stands up, taking a
few steps away to peak out the window to see what’s happening. When he turns
back to the chairs to tell the man he’s not interested, the man is gone, but
he’s left his card on Ash’s seat. This is unnerving because Ash should never be
unable to know someone was near him and they just go missing. He’s slipping.
Something spooks him about the encounter but also the commotion outside, and
Ash decides to get home before he has another episode.
He notices someone, a girl, (he’ll later learn is Destiny)
in the coffee shop.
Scene breaks, Ash leaves the café.
Sequel React to the events at the coffee shop, ned, and the strange guy at
the end
Ned but also the Business Card? Make this mostly about Ned, but the business
card is nagging him for a reason he can’t tell. Also, there is the ghost of a
memory nagging him, he can feel something trying to come up. Does he know that
guy? Maybe he’s seen him on a commercial? Hm….
Ash left the café a few hours ago, frustrated that the outing
had gone so poorly. He is in his workshop, drinking liquor to numb his nerves.
He pitters around the workshop trying to see what product he has available for
the winter market and what item he can donate to the fundraiser. Unlike other
makers, his craft isn’t something he can throw together quickly. He can carve a
few small items in an afternoon, for funsies, but it takes him weeks for a
table or chair.
Ned vs Card, vying for attention… All the while, the
business card sits on the shelf calling to him. He keeps trying to ignore it,
his attention drawn back repeatedly.
Ash feeds the (unusual pet? Bird? Reptile? Mountain Lion?)
Something odd.
The business card sits on the shelf calling to him, still
ignoring it.
Ash selects a piece to donate to the fundraiser,
The business card sits on the shelf calling to him, still
ignoring it.
Ash sets about putting stuff onto the trailer to haul to the
market, making sure each item is tagged and priced.
The business card sits on the shelf calling to him, still
ignoring it.
Ash sees multicolored mist rising from the card, and he
almost hears a voice saying to pick it up.
The business card sits on the shelf calling to him, still
ignoring it.
Ash gets a bottle down from the shelf and pours a stronger
drink. The voice is stronger, a breeze whips through the shop.
Ash goes to close the window, feels a chill.
A feather falls from the ceiling, where an old bird nest was
left over from spring, settles on the
card.
Ash finally picks up the Business Card and sits in one of
his rocking chairs to read it, looking for clues or queues.
Is this a real card? Is it coded in some way? Is there a
hidden message? Is this just a sales gimmick to get him to buy into some new Ponzi
scheme? But there was something about the man, wasn’t there? A hint of
something just out of the reach of Ash’s memory, like the ghost of a memory?
Could this guy be one of his old contacts? Could he be related to an old
contact? Could this actually be a set up to take Ash down for an old grudge?
But would that even make sense? It’s been way too long, he’s been out of the
game for way too long. Could anyone alive today still care what he did in his
former occupation? Some might, especially a son or daughter, maybe.
This could be an innocuous sales scheme, an old
acquaintance, or there is an outside change this is a genuine threat to his
life. While remote, the possibility exists. But that’s ridiculous. Not after
this many years, not in his current condition. Nobody cares about Colonel Theran
Ashland anymore. Hell, nobody remembers Colonel Theran Ashland. He’s just… Ash.
This whole line of thinking is silly. He rips the card in
half and tosses it in the pellet stove which is already burning hot. He’s got a
market to prepare for.
DESTINY’s POV ARCH HERE – Introduce her but only briefly, set up her story
world, her want/need, and her reason for being in town.
Briar Texts as epigraphs before Ash’s POVs
01/19/2025
Scene – World Building – Farmer’s Market
Ash goes to the farmer’s market. He is manipulated by the small-town
Ned every year into going. He can’t say he hates it, it gets him out of the
house, and it helps him build the sales for his wood craft. He doesn’t need the
sales, but he needs the craft to keep him occupied, so in that sense he needs
the sales. His pension and family home are sufficient for his needs. He
actually donates half the sales from these markets to veteran’s causes, and
half he sends to his dead partners’ daughter, Eta. He hasn’t spoken to Eta in
few years, but she sends him a thank you text every time a random money order
arrives at her apartment. So, what does Ash want today at THIS farmer’s market
on THIS day?
(Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: Peace, generally. Hassle Free. But also, Ash wants to make some
sales, a few connections with the season’s last tourists, and avoid looking or
feeling crazy.
Beat 1 – No Peace / Hassle And now he’s got a stranger in his truck and
it’s been damaged.
Ash backs his teal 1961 Ford F100 up to the garage, and
hooks up the trailer to the hitch, all pre-loaded the night before. He checks
the straps and tarps, ensuring a secure load. Whatever his weird pet is, runs
off into the forest, which is usual for it, no big deal, there’s a doggy door. He
turns on the AM radio, and twists the dial a bit to tune into the Glen Miller
station, then takes off down the long driveway to the main road.
About ten minutes later, Ash turns off of a dirt and gravel
road, Old Button Hook road, onto Goat Herder’s Pass which is paved but
infrequently maintained, and works his way down the hill. He stretches out on
the bench seat, feeling the leather creak beneath the blanket he has draped
over it. The smell of steal, oil, and an old gas engine make him feel grounded
and remind him a simpler time, when his dad owned this truck and they drove it
to go fishing. Happy memories, but sadness. He is driving dads truck, living in
dads house, it was just the two of them. Mom died when he was ten. Dad has been
gone a few years now (mentally, he has dementia and lives in a care facility),
which is when he moved into the main house from the guest cabin he had been
living in when he was medically discharged.
Ash turns a corner and his daydream is cut short by a black
car pulled not quite far enough off the road and a lady bending down near the
tire but with her butt sticking out into the road. Ash reacts quickly to avoid
hitting her, but the sudden movement with the trailer forces him to swerve and
he clips the rock face on the other side, finally coming to a stop a few
hundred feet further. Checking for any other traffic, Ash pulls the truck and
trailer over to turn out just ahead. His heart is racing, but he has to check
and make sure she is okay.
As he opens the door, he glances at the damaged front
driver’s quarter panel. He winces. That’s fixable, but gosh what a shame. Ash
jogs back up the road to find the lady now standing off the road away from her
car, looking mostly annoyed but a little scared.
Lady: “You almost killed me!”, She said.
Ash: Are you okay? *He notices her clothes, skin, hair, and
then eyes, She’s black, purple jump suit. When he sees her eyes, he knows this
is the girl he saw at the café yesterday. *
Lady: No thanks to you, where did you learn to drive, the
autobahn?
Ash: You’re fine. (trying to keep calm, calm is the goal, no
sudden outbursts from Ash today, keep calm). What’s wrong with your car?
Lady: *flushes, a little. His calm making her outburst feel
petty, she slightly changes her tone* I think I blew a tire? I was trying to
see when you… (catches herself, changes her tone)… When you drove by.
Ash: Let me check it out.
*She motions to him that it’s all his, and she steps away
from the car. Ash checks out the rear tire, it’s not just a blown tire, it’s a
blown axle? Or bearing… or something big.*
Ash: This isn’t just your tire, whatever hit the tire hit
the…. ((Brake line?))… You won’t be driving this car anywhere today.
Lady: Great, just great, this is a rental you know?! Stuck
in the middle of nowhere. GPS said this was the best way to go. Where even am
I?
Ash: You’re 10 minutes outside of town.
Lady: Ah. I think I got turned around. I was told there are
great views in these mountains, but I got lost a few times on dirt roads. Dirt,
can you believe that? GPS said the road had a name, but it’s got me driving on
dirt. Unbelievable.
Ash: Those are roads, it takes outsiders a bit to get used
to. Dirt and Gravel still gets us to and from, and we name them. **This
objectively terrible dialog, but I’m leaving until I actually work on this tory
after the outline.
Lady: I was trying to sight-see early, there is some small-town
market is happening today, or so I’m told.
Ash: I’m on the way there now. Why don’t you get whatever
you need out of the car and I’ll take you there. We can get a tow truck to come
pick this up and bring it into town.
Lady: (*sighs, looks longingly at the car, squints at the
truck, and sighs again*) Thank you, um… What’s your name?
Ash: They call me Ash.
Lady: I’m Destiny, like Destiny’s child, but I’m not the
child, I’m Destiny. I’m not your Destiny, obviously, or maybe I am. Because
here we are in the middle of nowhere… I’m sorry. I’m rambling. I ramble. It’s
how I process almost being killed on the road by a guy in a truck. *bites her
lip to stop talking*
Ash: I’ll clear out the passenger seat for you, just get
whatever you need. If you need help, I can carry stuff.
Lady: I wasn’t planning on this being a trip, I only have one
backpack with me.
She grabs the backpack and keys, looks again at the car, and
sighs, then heads to Ash’s truck with him.
She notices the front damage and how pristine the classic
truck is otherwise, and winces again.
Lady: I’m really sorry, truly. That sucks.
Ash nods, but says nothing.
Ash leans the seat forward, tosses his gear behind the seat,
and holds the door for her.
Destiny takes a nervous look at the rifle in the back
window, but then hops in. Ash closes the door with a clang, and walks around to
the driver’s side.
They start driving….
Beat 2 – Yes (finally gets set up at the market) / BUT constant
interruptions and now the lady is back.
As they pull into town, Ash drops by the garage and
introduces her to Sheffield, the town mechanic. Sheffield laments the damage
Ash did to Betsy, and Ash tells him to stop calling his truck by that name. Ash explains what’s up with her rental car. Sheffield
agrees to pick it up for her in his tow truck, and assess the damage. She gives
him her business card. Then they drive down to the end of town to the town park,
where everyone is setting up for the market. He drops Destiny off at the
information booth, wishes her well, and goes to the spot where his stuff will
be places this year.
As Ash is setting up, a full half hour passed the time he
wanted to be there, Ned shows up to annoy the fuck out of him again, and remind
him how his truck is damaged. He finally gets all set up, despite 10 more
people stopping by to ask him about the damage to his truck, each time his
explanation getting shorter.
He is finally set up, and hoping for just a few minutes to
settle his nerves in one of the chairs before the event really kicks off. He
closes his eyes and starts his embodiment exercises when Destiny’s voice speaks
up from just in front of him.
*He is startled, he was lost in thought, and her sudden
appearance makes him jump scared. That’s the second time in two days he wasn’t
aware of his surroundings enough to notice someone approach his presence.
That’s unlike him. He must be coming down with something?*
Destiny: You have really great stuff, do you make all this
yourself?
*Blood pressure rises, peace, calm, still… opens eyes*
***Some dialogue, and then….*** Do you mind if I hang out
with you, since I know you now, and you have these great chairs?
Beat 3 – Yes he gets the market going with positive results / BUT She won’t
shut the fuck up or go away for long enough for him to breath.
Destiny ends up leaving a few times, but keeps returning to
sit in his chairs. She calls out to passers by and ends up bringing quite a few
people into his booth. While annoying to his need for peace, she made him more
sales and more information requests than any previous market, even during busy
season. She even manages to grab Ned and keep him distracted every time he
drops by, showing him that she’s a news person makes Ned want to impress her,
and Ned takes her to show her the market a few times. “Have you met…”
She’s not bad to have around… BUT…. She won’t shut the fuck
up or go away for long enough for him to breath.
This beat should be a never ending series of interruptions
of his peace, and yet her helpfulness, making him feel overwhelmed and confused
but grateful for the results. If he didn’t find humans so difficult, he would
try to hire her to help with sales. Lol
Beat 4 – Yes - Ash has a successful market / BUT it was chaotic and
draining, and now a date and The Business Card?!
Ash has a successful market / BUT it was chaotic and
draining, and now… The Business Card?!
Ash is wrapping up his sales, cleaning up his table, and taking
all the interest cards from the coffee tin and putting them into his zipper
bag. Ash opens the laptop that looks like it came in a bullet proof case (a
military surplus find) and he put emails out to each one thanking them for
stopping by, linking them to his Instagram (that a kid at church set up for
him), and asking them if they want to place an order to email him the details
and he will provide them with a quote and timeframe and ask for their
commitment before he starts.
He processes most of the cards, and The Business Card from
the same gentleman as yesterday falls out of the pile and lands on the table
next to the laptop. There is no note, no handwritten explanation, just a new
copy of the card.
Ash didn’t remember seeing this guy today, when did he stop
by? How did he make it to the table without Ash knowing or seeing? Was Destiny
so distracting that he wouldn’t have noticed? She’s definitely… distracting… in
more ways than one… but he should have noticed an odd looking fellow like he
met yesterday.
(Ash doesn’t know, but one of the kids who stopped by to
look at his figurines dropped the card in there for the man)
Ash rips the card up, and tosses it in the trash can nearby.
He doesn’t have any need for odd people showing up with mystery offers, he
wants peace and quite and to live a normal life despite his disability.
Destiny shows up again, and asks him if she can take him to
dinner, on her dime, for all the help he gave her getting to town, and the
mechanic, and giving her an inside view of the market for her story… Her
story!? Why IS she here? This sounds like trouble I don’t need….
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Destiny insists that she needs to repay him for his time,
and he is hungry, he had originally intended to get food before the market, and
he only had time for snacks from vendors between things… and he’s probably
going to the town’s only restaurant where she is going to be too, so they may
as well go together… and she’s not so hard on the eyes, and her way with people
was pretty impressive… against his better judgment, he said yes.
Lady: Great, it’s a date.
Ash: A date?
She winks, and rushes off to speak to another vendor, and grabs
Neds arm taking him away from Ash’s booth, winking at Ash behind Ned’s back on
the way.
Ash reluctantly admits she kept Ned away, and so he resigns
that this won’t be the most awful way to spend the rest of the evening.
Briar Texts as epigraphs before Ash’s POVs
01/25/2025
Scene A DATE and some stories
(Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: Ash wants to have a dinner without issues, try to enjoy an
interesting human’s conversation, and get home without looking or feeling
crazy.
Beat 1 – Yes they have dinner / But no it’s not without issues, in fact,
his hallucinations are really bad tonight.
Ash parks his truck and trailer behind the Moose Lodge Bar
and Grill and walks to the front door where he finds Destiny already in a
friendly conversation with the hostess, swapping numbers like they are lifelong
best friends.
They are seated by the window, near the fireplace, which
Destiny had the hostess clean and ready for her, and Ash doesn’t need the menu
because it’s the only restaurant in town and he has been here mostly his whole
life, but definitely nowhere else for the last ten years. But he gives her time
to look and ask questions of the server, and look again, while he watches the
sunset over the crest of the hill, behind the tree line. He notices the moon
which has been out for a while settle into its place of prominence in the sky
as the sunset fades to dark blue.
***hallucination, try to look normal***
She orders, he orders his usual without having to say
anything, because the server has known him for years.
Dialogue ensues….
***hallucination, try to look normal***
She notices something is wrong, assumes it is her. He
assures her that it is not, and he is just uncomfortable in public something.
***hallucination, try to look normal***
They finish eating, pay, and take a walk by the beach.
They discover something?
Or his hallucinations worsen? Or they run into the guy with
the business card? Or…. ???
Whatever it is, Ash finds it interesting but Destiny (a
reporter) finds it fascinating, and she takes it with her to investigate. They
call it a night, and she returns to her hotel and he returns to his home. She
invites him to stay at the hotel but he declines.
*Could Briar be doing something from a distance that is
turning off the volume on Ash’s hallucinations?*
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
Not EVERY scene needs three beats, esecpially if we weave in
other Character’s POV and they have their own archs. This is a great moment to catch
Ash’s reflection, pause, and jump to Destiny’s POV
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
·
What is Ashe’s reaction to
this date?
DESTINY’s POV ARCH HERE
Briar Texts as epigraphs before Ash’s POVs
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster) – Mystery – Information Plot
Goal: Ash wants to be left alone to sulk in his mental health crises,
Destiny wants to enlist him in her new discovery.
Beat 1 – NO (Ash isn’t left alone and can’t get her to go away) / AND
Destiny is so convincing that now he’s considering helping her.
Ash takes a lot of meds, stays in doors for days, as he
often does, and Destiny calls a few times. He ignores the calls, but texts that
he is not feeling well and in no condition for a conversation.
She shows up at his house both excited about what she
discovered about the thing they found, and curious to see if he was just
putting her off or if he was really not feeling well.
She assumes he is physically ill, doesn’t realize he is
mentally ill. The alcohol on his breath and unkept beard tell her that he is definitely
not feeling well, whatever that means for him.
But she’s still so insistent her learn what she learned,
that he reluctantly let’s her inside as it is too cold to stand on the porch.
Enter – The Mystery – They learn about a clinic north of
town with strange reports of people gone missing and showing up dead.
*Ash will later learn that the
people who run this clinic performed tests on him while he was in the military.
They have former test subjects all over the nation, but found Ash especially
promising and decided to set up shop near him to monitor his condition. The
doctor he’s been seeing and getting prescriptions from is a plant by this
clinic, and Dr Briar the man who performed these tests on Ash years ago is the
man from the coffee shop. *
Ash thinks people showing up at a medical clinic and then
being found dead later is obvious. They were ill, the clinic couldn’t cure
them, and they died. What’s the big deal? What’s the story?
Destiny pushes back, they’re not just dead, like in their
homes or at the hospital. They’re found dead in odd circumstances. A guy known
for being a recluse is found dead in the woods without any real hiking gear; a
guy with a fancy home goes missing for months and then is found dead among a
bunch of homeless people; a lady with a lifelong fear of cats is found being
eaten by them in an alley; and in each case, the victim was seen by others to
be relatively stable before their visit to the clinic with no signs of mental
or physical illness other than a mild depression, which is why they went to the
clinic.
**How does she know all this? She’s the reporter, what are
her sources? News articles about the individuals but no reporter has tied them
all to the clinic. And she checked into police reports, public records, court
documents from when families sued, and kept following the trail. She searched
and found hundreds of random social media posts about these events from their
family members, may of whom mentioned the clinic. However, while no reporter or
public record mentioned the clinic, the social media posts by family members
did. but she noticed the same clinic mentioned in the stories, and the same
doctor (the guy’s name from the business card?!) She pulled LLC information
from the secretary of state website and found the home office was just north of
Ash’s town, but they had clinics in cities throughout the USA and maybe a few
internationally.***
We can flush that all out, but, the end result is that she
needs someone familiar with the area, who won’t get lost on the mountain roads
where GPS is spotty, and it wouldn’t hurt that he has self defense training if anything
weird happens. Which he thinks is a bit melodramatic, but, given what he’s seen
so far where she will just enter random conversations with anyone, he wouldn’t
be surprised if she got into trouble of some kind. God knows what. Besides her
car is still down and she took an uber to get here. So he either has to tell
her to uber back to her hotel (kind of rude), drive her to her hotel (better), or
take her on a road trip (while awful, this could be a good change to clear his
head?)
----What motivates him to say yes besides her annoying him into it and him
finding her increasingly attractive despite himself?
NOTE: They aren’t motivated to drive north to check out the
facility yet. That’s a jump from this meager amount of information and loose
clues. But it does make her curious when he mentions the business card. Maybe
they’ll go meet the strange guy together? Maybe that guy has been persistent
and while Ash doesn’t want anything to do with it, Destiny is curious and the
guy won’t leave Ash alone, so they go to meet him.
Either way, he says yes. They head out. Fade to black.
INCITING EVENT
Beat 2 – NO (Ash isn’t left alone) / AND now he is a suspect in a murder investigation?
Hijinks? Can we call Destiny a hijinks creator? LOL Shenanigans.
Now he’s on the road with her, can he at least get through this day without the
hallucinations making him look crazy?
They want to meet with the business card guy. As they show
up at the guy’s hotel room, they hear a commotion and a struggle. The business
card guy’s room is ajar. They knock and the door opens on its own. They see a
man lying in a pool of blood on the floor. Ash rushes to the man’s side and
Destiny calls 911, which routes to the town Sherriff. Ash uses his emergency medical
training from the military days to assess whatever would is causing the
bleeding. When he turns the guy over, there is a knife sticking from the man’s
chest, and it has Ash’s inscription on the back. Then he realizes, this is his
doctor, the psychiatrist he has been seeing for his medication and counseling.
Does Ash save his life or does he die in his arms? Not sure.
Does it look suspicious that the man was killed with the
knife Ash gave him as a present, yes. But with Destiny to corroborate alibi and
story, no charges are pressed for now?
But the Sherrif knows Ash is a bit crazy and Destiny could
be lying, so he has his suspicions still.
Maybe not this but something like it. Maybe his psychiatrist
is dead not the guy with the business card?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster) – Recon
Question: If he doesn’t come to
meet the man, the man or his associates could show up when Ash isn’t looking or
ready. It would be better to face the issue head on. He decides to check out
the guy’s hotel room, do some recon before agreeing to meet.
Goal: He wants to figure out if
this man is a threat or not and go back to his normal life.
Beat 1 – No/And Ash can’t find anything out about
the man, AND…?
Ash scopes out the hotel, asks a
few town locals about any odd visitors.
Beat 2 – No/And He goes to confront the man, he
doesn’t get to AND the man is dead.
When he finally goes to the
hotel room, he approaches to find the door kicked up and lock busted. He starts
to pull his weapon but realizes he doesn’t have a gun. He does; however, have a
utility knife he keeps on his belt, so he pulls this.
As Ash peaks inside the cracked
doorway, he sees the stranger from earlier dead on the carpet, blood pouring
over the rug. Ash rushes in, sweeps for other intruders, finds none, and checks
the man’s pulse, there is none. Ash doesn’t carry a phone, so he starts to look
for the hotel phone.
Beat 3 – No/And He doesn’t find out why the man is
there AND he’s under arrest?!
As he picks it up to call the
town Sherrif, that very Sherrif walks into the hotel room and sees the scene,
the knife in Ash’s hand, and blood on his hand (from checking his pulse), and
pulls his gun. “Ash, what did you do?”
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Ash and Destiny find a place to debrief and regulate after
the experience of finding someone dead. Even with Ash’s background, this is
traumatic. What are some ways they might be processing the event? PTSD, Numb,
Hysteria, other? Might be good to pull in some trauma informed therapy resources
for this scene when it comes time to describe how they are feeling and acting.
I imagine Ash is numb but panicking a little because that was the guy who’s
keeping his meds stable. I imagine Destiny is morbidly curious, “Did you see
how…”, intellectualizing the trauma through reporter brain.
This death marks the Inciting Event. This is the moment Ash’s
world is rocked. His Psychiatrist is dead. The world is shook up. And the
mystery person is calling him into conflict. But Ash can still say no, find a
new Psychiatrist, and walk away. And that’s exactly what he wants to do, and
tries to do, but Briar, Destiny, and events refuse to let him.
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
NO TURNING BACK – 1st Plot Point – Point of No Return for Ash
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
1st Pinch Point – Antagonist Power demo – New Clues about the
nature of the conflict
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
MIDPOINT – The Moment of Truth. Ash will realize the central truth and
nature of the conflict.
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
2nd Pinch Point – Foreshadows the third plot point, reminds him
what is at stake
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
3rd Plot Point – A dark moment for Ash. He has some kind of victory
at the midpoint (physical or psychological) and now he sees a reversal of his
good fortunes
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
CLIMAX BEGINS The forces that blend Ash, Destiny, and Briar are churning
and ramping up in a quicker pace
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
CLIMACTIC MOMENT – This is the moment Ash achieves the story goal, defeats
the conflict, and the story is essentially over. Except for some clean up and
resolves.
Resolution(s) – Ease the readers out, show Ash and Destiny and Briar in
their new realities. Hint at what might come.
Scene (Goal Conflict Disaster)
Goal: He/She wants…
Beat 1 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 2 - Yes/But or No/And…
Beat 3 - Yes/But or No/And…
Sequel (Reaction Dilemma Decision)
What is the dilemma and how does it force a decision?
[DGW1]A
mix between a Chihuahua and a Poodle is commonly called a "Chipoo."
Sometimes it's also referred to as a Choodle, Poochi, or Chi-Poo. These designer
dogs combine characteristics from both parent breeds, leading to a small,
active, and often quite intelligent pet.
Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
Clifton StrengthsFinder: Intellection, Learner, Ideation, Achiever, Input
16Personalities (Myers-Briggs Type): INFJ
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